This week I’m going to be writing about some pretty deep and sad stuff so if you’re not into that you should probably skip this narrative. It’s also a topic that’s pretty touchy and not many people know about it. I’d like to keep it that way so I’m not going to use real names or anything. I also understand that there will always be multiple sides of the story. This is just my perspective and how I took things.
A couple years ago I met someone who made my life as hard as she possibly could for the time period that I was acquainted with her. I had just started a new school year and I didn’t know anyone in my class. I was a lot different a couple years ago and my anxiety and childhood shyness was currently at its peak, it was hard for me to make new friends. I ended up making one but she always seemed to be mad at me or we would always be arguing. When we weren’t fighting she was insulting me about anything she could possibly find. I thought I could handle it but it slowly became an all day every day thing and it slowly started to get to me. So instead of waking up every morning and trying with my appearance and pretty much anything to do with that part of my life, I just wore the same thing every day. She told me that she wanted to be the pretty and hot and popular friend so I just let her.
It continued to get worse and worse until I basically thought that I was the worst person anyone could have to deal with, I was on the verge of depression and my anxiety was as bad as it had ever been. I had let her win and she ruled my life. She chose who we were friends with and I couldn’t protest because I knew she would spread personal things I had told her if I did. My life stayed this way and I didn’t ever talk to anyone about it for fear of bothering them like she said I would. That was until I met two amazing people that I am still very close with today, they helped me find myself again and get out of that situation before I got worse. They came along before I could hurt myself physically or anything else that I know every day people can go through.
Whether you are on the verge of depression like I was or you have been diagnosed with it just know that you are never alone. Don’t be afraid to get help or talk to someone, that was a mistake I made and I can see now that it only made things worse for me. Keeping all those emotions and feelings bottled up inside of you can push you over the edge. Don’t hang out with people who treat you like anything less than what you are, the most amazing person ever. Everyone is amazing, magnificent, and beautiful in their own way and if someone can’t see that then they aren’t worth your time because no one should ever be treated like they are nothing. If someone is going to judge anyone for anything it should be how they are on the inside, never what they look like on the outside.
It’s ok to cry and show your emotions, everyone has them and if they’re telling you they don’t then they’re lying to you and themselves, having feelings isn’t a weakness. If you feel you need to have a day where you just stay in bed then do it once and awhile, take a few mental health moments for yourself. Crying or just showing emotions can actually help you out sometimes believe it or not.
If you are diagnosed with depression don’t let it define you because you are so, so much more and you should still be allowed to live an amazing life even with it. Again, it won’t be easy but if you fill your days with people who make you happy, and do things that make you feel good, maybe it can help you like it did me. Everyone’s situation will be a little different of course and some are sadly worse than others. If you know someone who you think might be feeling a little down about something, try talking to them, strike up a conversation with them and bring some sunshine into this world. Don’t let people control you or your life and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself when you’re in a position like that.
I know this is a touchy topic to write about but it is also very important to recognize it. Just know that if you’re ever put in a bad place, tomorrow is another day and you can rock that day. Make it so good that yesterday gets jealous. Something bad that happens now probably won’t matter in a few years so just live your life to the fullest capacity. Dance to that song in the store with your friends, show off things that you’re good at, because my friends, we only get one shot at this life stuff, so we might as well make it good.